I’ve got dreams to remember
By Brandon Adamson

So here I am sitting around in my underwear playing my guitar and listening to the Hollies’ greatest hits on my Fisher Price record player. Right now the song “I’m alive” is playing…which I feel like is a lie for these times. This along with going to the mall have come to be the high point of my day. Yep, that’s what life has come to.
I had to sweat through my vehicle’s emission test on what seemed to be one of the hottest days of the year. Miraculously, my car passed….and i say miraculously because the check engine light had been on for like 8 months, but I changed the battery the day before so it must have reset and went off long enough for me to take the test. Now I can get on with my life.
In other news, I feel like I’ve been hanging out with trashy girls for so long that I’ve forgotten how to behave myself and act like a gentleman. I think living in Phoenix for so long now has just made me lessen the value in those qualities. It’s just adaptation is all. I find myself saying things to girls I would never said 5 or 6 years ago. But when almost every girl you know hangs out with scuzzy tattoo dudes with beer guts and various other riff raffy guys, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist that you’re not going to get anywhere with these hoes unless you make a trip down in scraggle rock and start upping your scum quotient. So I grew a beard, talk more crassly, and now my hair is getting kind of longer and gross. All I need is to gain about 50 pounds and embark upon the joys of self mutilation with piercings and tattoos…and I will finally be in the target demographic of the Tempe/downtown phoenix girl. I believe I covered this in more depth when I wrote :Tempe girls vs.Scottsdale girls.

Before I began this entry, I just woke up to a really bizarre sexual nightmare. I was hanging out with a girl I used to date, in her room, and she was being a huge bitch. Still with some persistence I convinced her to allow me to “do stuff” to her. Anyway, she wasn’t into it at all though and everytime I would start doing something, she would be like “no wait don’t do that,” but it was more like she would have some lame excuse for everything. So when I went to have sex with her she said “No I’m so loose down there right now that you’ll just bounce around everywhere.” And I’m thinking “what? ummm I don’t fucking care!” And then she said “yeah, it’s only big dicks for me now.” At that point I just wanted to slap her…but I managed to sort of keep my cool and so I went to go down on her and just said “Look, can’t you just play along and we’ll just see what happens?” And with that she gave in and started to let me and we almost had what could have been perceived as a romantic moment BUT just as I was starting…an old acquaintance/friend of mine walks in out of nowhere and interrupts. He had a drink in his hand and suddenly I was holding a miniature naked version of the girl in my hand and he came up with his drink and did a “cheers”and put his glass up to it! After he walked away I turned to back to talk to the life size girl again, and she just said “I do not want him here to watch another short (film.)” It was clear the “mood” had been broken, and we weren’t going to continue.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39MV3xwvKh8

Filed under: Uncategorized - @ August 17, 2010 1:28 pm

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