Tempe girls vs. Scottsdale girls
The difference between Scottsdale girls and Tempe girls is that Scottsdale girls are interested in money, brand names and image. They tend not to give you the time of day unless you can fulfill their expectations in these areas, which is not to say that they have good taste as far as these things go(some […]
blue as blank
Well, it’s getting to be hot as balls outside finally, which is a good thing from an allergy clearing/eye watery/sinus drainage standpoint at least. Where on Earth did the saying that something was “____ as balls” originate from anyways? I have no idea. It sounds pretty 90’s, and I use it way too much. Some […]
Let’s not question our flesh for wanting to remain flesh.
So I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m going through sort of a “viking” phase. I’ve been watching all these old viking movies like “Erik the Conqueror” with Cameron Mitchell and “The Vikings” starring Tony Curtis. And so I grew a beard, and I lift weights while watching these films and just get super […]
In praise of the wishy-washy girl
It’s getting to be that time of the year in Phoenix when one’s ass is in almost a perpetual state of sweatiness. There’s really not much you can do about it either. Here I am in my underwear typing this in the comfort of my climate controlled habitat of a room…and still sweating my tail […]
she comes in colors everywhere… she combs her hair
So I tried to go to the show at The Clubhouse where The Middle East was playing, but it was sold out. You’d think someone who’s been around as long as I have would have no trouble getting into one of these shindigs via guestlists, fair weather friends and whatever. One of the drawbacks of […]
i’ve been passing time watching trains go by
So I have been causing wayyy too much mischief these last couple months. It’s going to come back to haunt me I know it. I need to just stay home and brush up on my “Choose Your Own Adventure” skills. Saturday Night, after the bar closed and everyone was standing around doing the outside part….I […]
antihistamine dreams
So my awesome new beard has been overshadowed by the fact that I have a huge zit, and my allergies have been going buck wild, and I have been all hopped up on antihistamines, saline nasal spray, and red wine…which in turn means I look terrible and so people would be like “Man you look […]
Edward not for long
On my recent visit to my grandma’s for Easter to eat rack of lamb, I unearthed this ancient photo of me from a phase when I wanted to be like Edward Furlong. I suppose nearly every sullen, semi-rebellious, double kickflipping youth had this hairdo in 1992. My stepdad used to tell me that it made […]
Return to the Forbidden City
So I bought this “Planet of the Apes” #10 comic book (dated march 1991) from East Side Records. I didn’t actually purchase it though…When I walked up to the counter to ask how much it was the owner of the store just gave it to me. He was like “Just take it, give it a […]
city connection was a game for nintendo
So for the first time ever I’ve been reading through the craigslist “missed connections” board. I’m surprised to see so many of them, and in places that I frequent regularly…which makes me wonder if over the years anyone’s ever posted one of me in my lengthy career of wandering around diabolically. Now I have no […]