mister blue

This weekend blows. Today it must redeem itself. My “date” for the prom sort of flaked out on me friday, so now I’m hanging out with martha dumptruck. Ended up at Philthy Phils dancing with an asian(hispasian?) chick who was going buck wild. I was in sort of a shitty mood so I smoked a cig even. Yeah, that’s right, a cig! These last couple weeks have been planet gay….but anyways. Last night I hung out with Jonathan who just returned from a one month break of going out…which sounds like a great idea, but I could never do it(unless i have a gf or something and this is two to three years ago.) He has a goatee now, which was the source of much humor for those around us.

Friday night drunk josh came up to me and Bill, and we gave him the cold shoulder as usual, and he was questioning why, and I told him it was because he had boner rage, and then he stormed off, and Bill mentioned that was the fastest he’d ever seen anybody get rid of him. That dude has been around forever, and is something of a homosexual legend in this town.

I’ve been trying to get into recording music in my new place, but i only end up listening to records and drinking. I need inspiration. I need romance and flowers and wind. Or maybe i just need to go to the mall more.

I have more and more suicide daydreams lately. I write up mock suicide notes in my head. What would I say? I always have these weird goals that keep me going, like “Yeah as soon as i get this done or fulfill this dream or successfully bang this girl, it’s cool if i die.”

Hah. That song “Aquarius” just came on as I’m typing this. An astrological sign perhaps. Anyone for magical thinking.