I met a girl on the escalator at Fashion Square today in Nordstrom’s. It was completely by chance. She was walking in front of me toward the escalator, but then she paused and walked in another direction because she got confused about which one was up or down. By the time she figured out that […]
pay me now or pay me escalator
By Brandon Adamson
Tin Drum
By Brandon Adamson
Whenever I hear a girl say “I want a man, not a boy,” I can immediately disqualify myself and know she’s not the one for me. I’m out. This doesn’t pertain to any specific situation…but occasionally in my discussions with a girl over her romantic life I make a mental note of our own potential […]
night halloween
By Brandon Adamson
So glad halloween is over. I hate halloween, everyone in their dumb costumes. But what about the opportunities you say? What opportunities? The opportunity to have hyper extroverted people all “in character” and annoying the crap out of me even more than usual. Anyway, I can go buck wild whenever I want, preferably after a […]
Out in the wild
By Brandon Adamson
“How wild is buck wild? Is that like wilder than normal wild?” “There are so many variations of wild it’s like comparing apples and oranges” “Yeah there’s hog wild…” “I think hog wild is more like a sexual thing… like me and that girl were going hog wild.” “Buck wild is more like a rodeo […]
Deadly is the female. Nothing deadlier is known to man
By Brandon Adamson
There’s totally a rogue mosquito on the loose in my house. It’s been biting the shit out of me and driving me crazy. I see her flying around periodically, but can’t seem to catch the bastard. I’ve been dealing with this pesky mosquito for days. It’s very elusive and always bites me just when I’m […]
21st century misogyny
By Brandon Adamson
Memorable Facebook comment exchange I had with a girl today… B.A. : Sometimes I’m glad that I don’t have a girlfriend and don’t have to try to decipher ambiguous “feelings” status updates or read passive aggressive complaints about my behavior on a daily basis. K.A.M : Why doesn’t this status say ” I’m ALWAYS glad […]
“I don’t sleep. I hate those little slices of death.”
By Brandon Adamson
So busy lately. I just play my acoustic guitar for hours a day and then basketball with JS. I’m really sore, and my ankle is so janky right now that I basically hobble as opposed to walk. Last night I went to Mikey Jackson’s birthday which was great, but I didn’t end up staying that […]
Rubbish Heap
By Brandon Adamson
I hate Skaters. Skateboarders are the dumb jocks of the 21st century. I was a skateboarder from roughly 1990-1999, an era which included some of the best and worst years of my life(1990, 1993, 1997 being the good ones.) My first real board was a Blind, Jason Lee model…the one with the grinch on it. […]
the most depressing show in the world
By Brandon Adamson
So, out of nowhere Wallace showed up at my house randomly and wanted me to go with him to Venue of Scottsdale to see some magic show or something. He had an extra ticket, and it was free so I went. Turned out it was Andrew W.K. someone whom I had never heard of(I am […]
I hate HD
By Brandon Adamson
I hate HD. I’m sorry, but I don’t need to see people’s faces in that much detail. People looked much more attractive when they were grainy and fuzzy. If I want to see people that clearly, I can go into a fluorescent lit Safeway bathroom. Seriously what makes people think every technological advancement in photography […]