feeble screams, fever dreams

So my old pal Dawn Batson rolled into town Alice style on her way to L.A.(only her car didn’t break down and she didn’t get a job in a diner.) I would have taken her out on the town and subjected her to some trashy phoenix hipster nights, but it just so happened I was sick with a fever and the early makings of what is now a full on “runny nose vagina” in my nose…or what Nikki calls “the clapper” (I don’t really get it either.) I thought the clapper was used to turn light switches on and off. She says it’s like “the clap” but in your nose. Well…now it all makes sense I guess.

Anyhow Dawn and her friend stayed at my place and she asked me to come along with her to L.A. which I had planned on, but I just didn’t feel well at all. We did some catching up and talked about all sorts of people we’d dated and misc. drama in our lives…ambitions and so forth. One thing memorable from our discussion is how often people in relationships seem to cheat on each and how they both stay with the other person, and it’s just somehow acceptable. I mean some of these people are together for years and cheat on each other openly. I personally would simply break up with a girl without thinking twice about it if she cheated on me…along with entertaining thoughts about murdering the dude and revenge sex with one of her friends. I would never cheat on someone I was in a relationship with, and if for some reason I simply couldn’t resist for whatever reason…then I wouldn’t expect the relationship to last much longer. I mean I’m not a puritan or anything, and I get that you can get bored of someone or if your significant other is always out of town traveling or whatever…you may want to stray…but then if you can’t commit to someone then just don’t be in a relationship. Just be single and slutty. It doesn’t make you appear any less sleazy just because you can manage to muster the effort to maintain some sort of plastique facade of being a loving romantic couple. And another thing? Why do dudes cheat? Where do they find the energy? When I’m with someone, I have a hard enough time paying enough attention to just one person…and when I manage to get a break I’m thinking about naptime and a bowl of cereal…not boning down and with other hoes and draining yet even more of my life force.

Dawn and I made sure to take our tri-annual tooth brushing photos which I’m sure she’d be thrilled that I’m posting here: